Occupy Wall Street
It Doesn't Get Crazier Than This
Name Occupy Wall Street
Origin Wall Street, New York City
Leader None
Location Cities across the US
Purpose To make other people less successful
Ideology communism
Notable Members Michael Moore

Occupy Wall Street, more commonly referred to as "Occupy", is a growing movement of protesters that began in New York City but spread like a plague to infest cities across the United States. They claim they are fighting greed, yet they demand more money from the government. They feel "entitled" to a job just because they graduated college, and they detest those who have earned a wealthy lifestyle by working hard and making wise investments.

History Edit

The "Occupy" movement first started as a protest on Wall Street in New York City, New York. Liberal and moronic New Yorkers gathered at America's financial capital to display their hatred towards Capitalism, free market, success, and the hard-working wealthy. During the first few days of the demonstrations, most people thought the protestors would vacate Wall Street within a short timeframe and return to smoking pot and playing drums in their apartments. Little did the world know that the city mayor, Michael Bloomberg, would allow the law-breakers to remain in their conquered territory. This move not only enabled "Occupy Wall Street" to thrive but inspired lunatics across the country -and the world- to storm public areas for no reason other than that it was fun to protest- and they deserved more money of course. Over time, the violent protesters managed to cause millions of dollars in damage to taxpayer-run cities, $13,000,000 in New York City alone. "Occupyers" began to deface property and even burn cars in cities like Rome, Italy. Mayors didn't help the issue. On the contrary, city leaders like Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa encouraged the movement, and offered the protestors more land to inhabit. It is unclear when the crazies will recede from their battlegrounds.

Common Habits of "Occupyers" Edit

Members of "Occupy" have developed certain peculiar behaviors while ravaging city streets throughout the globe. Their most notable habit is chanting "We are the 99%!", a slogan also seen on many of their picket signs. The interesting about this declaration is that only about 39% of Americans support the movement, so claiming to represent 99% is somewhat difficult.

In addition to the chant, members often engage in what they call "the Human Microphone". In this odd ritual, one protestor will shout something that the nearby stoners will repeat. This technique most commonly is used to say random, nonsensical statements that have no relevance to Wall Street or any of the cities that the protestors are "Occupying".

Protesting Individuals Edit

Not only have the good people of cities like New York, Washington, D.C., Rome, and Toronto had to witness the unique strangeness harbored by the "occupyers", but the demonstrators occasionally pay visits to particular public figures, especially Republican politicians. These people are the most common target because they believe in the free market and that if someone works hard and earns money, they shouldn't be forced to give their earnings to other people.

A few examples of this type of protesting could be found throughout the 2012 Republican Primary. Candidates such as Michele Bachmann, Newt Gingrich, and Mitt Romney were interrupted during speeches various campaign stops. The protestors charged the candidates with being evil capitalists that are owned by the rich. Even after responding with facts and reason, the "Occupyers" continued with their useless name-calling and rhetoric. They also have shown to have no reverence for those who have served the U.S. military, as they gleefully interrupted Congresswoman Bachmann's veterans day speech on a retired Navy Vessel before numerous former soldiers.

In addition to 2012 GOP campaign, Republicans on Capitol Hill have faced the mindless wrath of the "Occupy" zombies. The most absurd example is when Speaker of the House John Boehner received bomb threats.

Flaws Edit

Clearly, the demonstrators are not in the best mental health.

  • They claim that taxing the wealthiest Americans more will somehow directly help them.
  • They forget that the top 1% of Americans pay 47% of all taxes in the nation.
  • They are oblivious to the fact that the wealthiest Americans create more jobs.
  • They are in favor of Socialist policies, such as the redistribution of wealth.
  • They fail to see the irony of fighting greed while simultaneously demanding more money.
  • Instead of working towards a job, they waste their time protesting.
  • They don't realize some of the people "supporting" them are extremely wealthy too.

Educating the "Occupyers" Edit

Watch as Peter Schiff tries to explain economics to protestors on Wall Street.

Peter Schiff Speaks for 1 Percent at Occupy Wall Street

Peter Schiff Speaks for 1 Percent at Occupy Wall Street

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